


i ran all the way home to give this to you

by starearring



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, But you cant tell, M/M, a little internalized homophobia, very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23442898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starearring/pseuds/starearring
Summary: connor apologizes.
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	i ran all the way home to give this to you

When Connor McKinley shows up to Kevin Price’s home, unprompted, Kevin Price is not sporting his most gentlemanly look.  
Connor watches as the door opens, and to his utter disbelief, Kevin is revealed; not one of his parents, not a guest on their way out, not one of his many tottering little siblings. He’s wearing an antiquated BYU sweatshirt- heather grey with large purple letterings that are starting to wear at the corners, showing frayed thread- black gym shorts with an embroidered _Nike_ swoosh on the right leg, and black crew socks. Connor realizes this is the first time he’s ever seen his bare legs; Kevin always wore pants to school. There’s dark hair that increases in sparsity as it continues up his thigh, hidden by the shorts, and scarring at either of his knees- paired with such casual attire, he looks so much like a _boyfriend_ that Connor genuinely feels a little taken aback. _‘Over leg hair? Seriously?’_ he mentally chastises himself.  
Kevin looks surprised to see him.  
“Hey,” he greets, settling his hands in his pockets. There’s no upset in his voice, but it’s airy and a little too quiet, like he’s trying to remind himself that he’s unhappy with the boy in front of him.  
“Hey,” Connor returns with a sheepish smile, “Are you home alone? I don’t think I’ve ever seen your house so quiet.”  
Kevin laughs and glances behind himself, surveying the silent, echoey establishment in question.  
“Yeah, my parents took the little kids to their piano recital.” Connor tuts a laugh to himself at Kevin’s referring to his younger siblings as _“the little kids_ ”.  
“I got to be excused since there was a fall sports meeting around the same time,” he continues, leaning against the door frame, “I just drove myself home afterwards… What are you doing here?”  
There’s no malice in his voice, just genuine curiosity and a tinge of vulnerability that Connor doesn’t think Kevin knows is so apparent.  
“So,” Connor starts, raising his eyebrows and looking at the ground, “I just wanted to, um, say I’m really, really sorry, Kevin.” He looks at Kevin’s face as he continues, who stares at Connor’s shirt, seldomly blinking and clearly hanging onto every word. He’s been waiting for this.  
“I shouldn’t have ghosted you. I didn’t even…” Connor bites his lip and picks the skin around his thumb. “I didn’t even mean for that to happen, it just like, did. And I really freaking regret it.”  
It’s silent, and Connor is thankful that Kevin doesn’t try to fill the space up with meaningless responses as Connor contemplates how to properly articulate what he’s going to say next.  
“You… you and me both know how hard it is to deal with like… who we are. You’ve known that you-“ Connor stumbles, not wanting to somehow overwhelm him, “you like… _boys_ for a shorter time than I have. So, I know it’s kind of especially hard on you. So, for me to like, just, stop responding like that was _really_ crappy, cause’ you were already struggling and I could have kept you steady, but I…”  
Connor has to pause to catch his breath. His face feels hot and he feels a little light headed and close to tears. Kevin looks at him now, and they trade eyesight positions again, Connor looking anywhere but Kevin’s eyes.  
“I couldn’t even do that. I couldn’t stay solid for you.“  
Kevin wants to reach for his hand- Connor sees Kevin’s hand move from his pocket, then drop- but remembers the security camera pointed at the doorstep. He opts to nod solemnly, face laced with sympathy. His countenance makes Connor feel a little more relaxed, a little less scrutinized knowing Kevin really is listening and isn’t terribly angry.  
Connor takes a deep breath to stop his voice from trembling.  
“The church is so overwhelming. And, I know you know that, but it’s so crushing, sometimes. Sometimes, I want nothing more than to be someone else, be the nice, hetero young man that my sisters and mother and father see me as. But I can’t, and sometimes it’s so, like, debilitating... Jeez, I’m saying ‘sometimes’ a lot.”  
That makes them both laugh, and that alone is enough to get them to finally make eye contact.  
“Okay, I’m talking too much. I don’t even know if that made sense, um… Synopsis: I had a big, self-deprecating breakdown and instead of talking to you about it, I turned it off and shut you out and gosh, Kevin Price… I am so sorry.”  
Kevin laughs shortly at the use of his full name and then looks so sad and reverent that Connor can’t help but mirror it, maybe a little sadder and more puppy-eyed to try to garner all the forgiveness he can. Kevin steps to the side and beckons him inside with a small “come on”. Connor nervously steps inside, and Kevin closes the door, immediately pressing his face against Connor’s neck, dropping his arms over his shoulders and sighing. Connor feels Kevin’s whole body untense with that sigh, and wraps his arms around his waist in a tight embrace. He rests his open palms at Kevin’s lower and upper back respectively, pressing a very light kiss to Kevin’s hair with the intentions of Kevin possibly not feeling it.  
“I missed you so much,” laments Kevin, the puffs of air around his words amplified by the short space between his lips and Connor’s throat, “Even though it’s been like, two weeks.”  
Connor can hear and feel the smile at the end of that sentence, and they both giggle and tighten their grips.  
“I thought I annoyed you, or something,” he admits sadly, and Connor feels utter remorse on levels he hadn’t known possible. “I thought maybe I drove you away because I wasn’t sure about being, um… _gay_.”  
He says the last part quietly, like saying that word will oblige Heavenly Father to strike him dead. Connor pulls him back by his shoulders to look him in the eye, and he’s grateful for the lack of height difference.  
“Kevin, that doesn’t mean anything to me, I promise. I know it seems like I’m the poster child of homosexuality,”- his voice shakes with laughter and Kevin snorts- “but I even question myself sometimes.” There’s a beat of silence, and Connor leans forward and presses the side of his face to Kevin’s. “I’m really sorry, Kev,” he says, turning his head so when he speaks his lips move against Kevin’s cheek, “I missed you so terribly much. Please forgive me.”  
Kevin nudges his head against Connor’s until they’re just looking at each other, faces in intimate proximity.  
“ _Can I?_ ”, asks Kevin softly, and Connor gives a curt nod in assent, eyes half-lidded as Kevin gently slots their mouths together, watching the enchanting flutter of Kevin’s dark eyelashes against his cheek, completely shutting his eyes when they kiss and it makes that clicking sound that always makes Connor’s astonishingly pasty skin flush red. Kevin breathes hard out of his nose when Connor slides his hands back towards himself and plants them firmly at Kevin’s waist. He squeezes, and Kevin quickly pulls away to hug him, and Connor knows it’s for the sole purpose of hiding his reddened face. There’s a much-too-amused grin playing on his lips, but Connor leaves Kevin be and holds him tight.  
The sun is on the verge of setting, as told by the bright golden light coming in through the small window of the door, and Kevin tugs himself away.  
“I’m sorry, I know you just got here. But, um, my family’s gonna be home soon-“  
“Kevin.” Connor grabs his shoulder with his left hand and cups his cheek with his right.  
“I get it. It’s okay, silly goose.”  
Kevin gets visibly shy at the combination of the affectionate pet name and the cool hand on his cheek, and closes his eyes, nuzzling into Connor’s touch, as if trying to absorb himself into the feeling.  
Connor feels his heart explode.  
“I’ll text you, okay?” Connor says softly, forcing himself to pull away and head to open the door, “We’ll make a plan to have a _sleepover_ , wink wink wink.”  
Kevin shoulder checks him out with a giddy, laughter-fueled “get out of my house!”.  
Connor laughs and jogs the short distance to his Kia Soul, momentarily walking backwards to stick his tongue out at him. 

As Connor pulls out of the driveway with a wave, Kevin thinks about how badly he wanted to kiss him again.  
_‘Fucking security cameras’_ , he thinks to himself, immediately ashamed at the mental use of such profanities, and closes the door behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> please get outta here if you fetishize gay men. id make this so straight people couldnt read it if i could <3  
> (usually my titles r one word. trying something new! if u understand the reference ill give u big kiss)


End file.
